 |
| Who can say love's shape or size, Or how it takes you by surprise? But with a thankful heart and awed, Humbly accept each gift from God. |
| LOI sent: March 22, 2006 I600A sent: March 24, 2006 fingerprints: April 7, 2006 Home study sent: April 13, 2006 PA: April 17, 2006 I171H: June 2, 2006 "expedited" DTC: June 16, 2006 LID: June 23, 2006 TA: November 17, 2006 (147 days) Travel: November 24, 2006 Day we meet: November 27, 2006 Adoption date: November 28, 2006 CA: December 7, 2006 Return: December 9, 2006 |
| Eden's referral photo, approx. Sept 2004 approx dob: 04-13-04 YiWu SWI, Zhejiang province |
As the weeks and months went by, we all watched the almost forty children find homes and be matched with
families. "Sai Sai" remained. I was curious. I looked over her medical. A cleft palate was a routine and common
special need, and rarely deterred potential parents. I read "delayed", and "below her peers". Having adopted twice
from China, that meant absolutely nothing to me. It was more amazing to find a child from China who was not
delayed. Due to the nature of the institutionalized life, most babies and children from orphanages are delayed to
some extent, and most quickly catch up once they are home and loved and getting good nutrition and attention.
Surely "delayed" couldn't be the reason nobody was choosing her? The time drew near for the files of the
remaining children to be returned to China, in hopes of being sent to another agency and given another chance to
find a family. There were just a couple children left, and Eden was one of them. The thought had been but a
whisper in my heart, but as the days went by, it could not be ignored. As I showed her to my family, each one
nodded. I called to find out if there had been any interest in this little girl. I waited for the answer, surprised to find
myself anxious. When I was told that they thought they had a family for her, I was even more surprised to feel my
great disappointment. But we had prayed about this, so I tried to shake it off and move forward and be happy that
she had a family. The next day some of the newly matched children were announced, and I waited to see the
announcement that Sai Sai had a family. But there was no announcement. By the end of the day, I was calling to
see why. Apparently that very day they had received an update on her. The family who wanted her was assessing
their decision in light of the new information in the update.
At this point she was one month shy of two years old. The update stated: "Ni Sai Fei's physical and intellectual
development are below par with her peers. She still can't sit by herself in her little bed, nor can she stand by her
bedrail. She can only lie on her belly in her bed. She can't speak and doesn't like being held by adults. Ni Sai Fei
fusses frequently ... Ni Sai Fei is underweight... When her name is called she does not react.... Her condition and
development continues to be significantly below her peers." The family chose to not to pursue adopting her after
all. Without hesitation we said yes.
In mid March we began the long struggle to adopt Baby Eden. A family we knew was visiting the ophanage and we
asked them to look in on Eden and get photos if possible. She sent photos and a short video of Eden looking
terrified and crying. She confirmed the assessment that she was delayed developmentally and physically, and very
small. The pictures showed a frail and frightened baby. She told me that Eden mostly stayed in her crib, rolling
from side to side, and that at two years old she was only being given bottles, no solid food of any kind. I worried
that she was being neglected, and wondered if any of her delays might be due to lack of care, nutrition, love, and
stimulation. I was also greatly alarmed at her report that the orphanage director kept referring to her as a "bad
baby" and said that she was not adoptable and a "substitute baby" would be given. I contacted our agency, greatly
upset. Indeed, upon investigation they found that the orphanage had officially withdrawn her file, and had deemed
her unadoptable. When the orphanage was contacted, they produced a "report" which claimed Eden had had a CT
scan that same day and that it showed she had a congenital brain abnormality. They did not want her adopted. We
protested. At long last, we were told we would be permitted to continue with the adoption (which was already
underway) provided we submit additional paperwork and notarized affidavits assuring that we did, indeed, want this
"bad baby", and outlining our plans and resources for caring for her.
families. "Sai Sai" remained. I was curious. I looked over her medical. A cleft palate was a routine and common
special need, and rarely deterred potential parents. I read "delayed", and "below her peers". Having adopted twice
from China, that meant absolutely nothing to me. It was more amazing to find a child from China who was not
delayed. Due to the nature of the institutionalized life, most babies and children from orphanages are delayed to
some extent, and most quickly catch up once they are home and loved and getting good nutrition and attention.
Surely "delayed" couldn't be the reason nobody was choosing her? The time drew near for the files of the
remaining children to be returned to China, in hopes of being sent to another agency and given another chance to
find a family. There were just a couple children left, and Eden was one of them. The thought had been but a
whisper in my heart, but as the days went by, it could not be ignored. As I showed her to my family, each one
nodded. I called to find out if there had been any interest in this little girl. I waited for the answer, surprised to find
myself anxious. When I was told that they thought they had a family for her, I was even more surprised to feel my
great disappointment. But we had prayed about this, so I tried to shake it off and move forward and be happy that
she had a family. The next day some of the newly matched children were announced, and I waited to see the
announcement that Sai Sai had a family. But there was no announcement. By the end of the day, I was calling to
see why. Apparently that very day they had received an update on her. The family who wanted her was assessing
their decision in light of the new information in the update.
At this point she was one month shy of two years old. The update stated: "Ni Sai Fei's physical and intellectual
development are below par with her peers. She still can't sit by herself in her little bed, nor can she stand by her
bedrail. She can only lie on her belly in her bed. She can't speak and doesn't like being held by adults. Ni Sai Fei
fusses frequently ... Ni Sai Fei is underweight... When her name is called she does not react.... Her condition and
development continues to be significantly below her peers." The family chose to not to pursue adopting her after
all. Without hesitation we said yes.
In mid March we began the long struggle to adopt Baby Eden. A family we knew was visiting the ophanage and we
asked them to look in on Eden and get photos if possible. She sent photos and a short video of Eden looking
terrified and crying. She confirmed the assessment that she was delayed developmentally and physically, and very
small. The pictures showed a frail and frightened baby. She told me that Eden mostly stayed in her crib, rolling
from side to side, and that at two years old she was only being given bottles, no solid food of any kind. I worried
that she was being neglected, and wondered if any of her delays might be due to lack of care, nutrition, love, and
stimulation. I was also greatly alarmed at her report that the orphanage director kept referring to her as a "bad
baby" and said that she was not adoptable and a "substitute baby" would be given. I contacted our agency, greatly
upset. Indeed, upon investigation they found that the orphanage had officially withdrawn her file, and had deemed
her unadoptable. When the orphanage was contacted, they produced a "report" which claimed Eden had had a CT
scan that same day and that it showed she had a congenital brain abnormality. They did not want her adopted. We
protested. At long last, we were told we would be permitted to continue with the adoption (which was already
underway) provided we submit additional paperwork and notarized affidavits assuring that we did, indeed, want this
"bad baby", and outlining our plans and resources for caring for her.
These are photos of
Eden I received in
March, 2006.
Eden I received in
March, 2006.
A family visiting a few weeks later confirmed these reports again, but
they did not get any new photos of her. This mom said she seemed
very delayed, and could not judge what was wrong with her or what her
mental status might be. She said she was so tiny, and that again, the
nannies and orphanage personnel said that this baby was not going to
be adopted, and that a substitue was going to be given. We had long
discussed and decided as a family, that this little girl was meant to be
part of our family, no matter what her condition, and that no matter what
was wrong with her, she would be better off with a family, and would
have a far greater chance of reaching whatever God-given potential she
has. Some say that you cannot save them all. My response is that I
am certainly glad that God did not feel that way about me. We have no
intentions of "saving them all"; only the ones that God has told us to.
We continued to pray diligently for her. We asked God to strengthen
her mind and strengthen her body, and that she would not even cry
when she met us. We tried to put her in God's hands and have faith,
although at times I worried about her very much.
they did not get any new photos of her. This mom said she seemed
very delayed, and could not judge what was wrong with her or what her
mental status might be. She said she was so tiny, and that again, the
nannies and orphanage personnel said that this baby was not going to
be adopted, and that a substitue was going to be given. We had long
discussed and decided as a family, that this little girl was meant to be
part of our family, no matter what her condition, and that no matter what
was wrong with her, she would be better off with a family, and would
have a far greater chance of reaching whatever God-given potential she
has. Some say that you cannot save them all. My response is that I
am certainly glad that God did not feel that way about me. We have no
intentions of "saving them all"; only the ones that God has told us to.
We continued to pray diligently for her. We asked God to strengthen
her mind and strengthen her body, and that she would not even cry
when she met us. We tried to put her in God's hands and have faith,
although at times I worried about her very much.
In late June another family visited the orphanage and sent us these photos (above) of
Eden. She told me that she stroked her face, and that she seemed to like it, but when
she was picked up to be taken outside for a photo, that she cried. She said she
seemed delayed, frail and small, but that she had good eye contact and she felt there
was hope. We continued to pray...
Eden. She told me that she stroked her face, and that she seemed to like it, but when
she was picked up to be taken outside for a photo, that she cried. She said she
seemed delayed, frail and small, but that she had good eye contact and she felt there
was hope. We continued to pray...
The end of August another family visited
the orphange. I anxiously awaited news
of our little girl. We had been given so
many reports of her delays, that she
cried so much, that she was not able to
do anything. We were overwhelmed
when we were told that she was
standing in her crib, and that she did not
cry at all! She was alert and looking
around and the orphanage staff said that
she had been progressing. We believe
that once they knew we were really going
to come for her, that she may have been
given more attention. She certainly
looked much healthier in these photos.
We continued to pray...
the orphange. I anxiously awaited news
of our little girl. We had been given so
many reports of her delays, that she
cried so much, that she was not able to
do anything. We were overwhelmed
when we were told that she was
standing in her crib, and that she did not
cry at all! She was alert and looking
around and the orphanage staff said that
she had been progressing. We believe
that once they knew we were really going
to come for her, that she may have been
given more attention. She certainly
looked much healthier in these photos.
We continued to pray...
Along with all the anxiety over Eden's condition, we were also battling the long wait for paperwork to come through. The paperwork
for an adoption is grueling, equally inefficient on the American and Chinese sides of it. At this point, we were expecting to be
traveling any day to go and get Eden, and we had waited the average amount of time for our Travel Approval. We had no idea that
we would be waiting an unprecedented 147 days for this document! The wait (for this document) that commonly takes only weeks,
took almost five months. By the time we traveled to get Eden, we had known her face for almost a year.
for an adoption is grueling, equally inefficient on the American and Chinese sides of it. At this point, we were expecting to be
traveling any day to go and get Eden, and we had waited the average amount of time for our Travel Approval. We had no idea that
we would be waiting an unprecedented 147 days for this document! The wait (for this document) that commonly takes only weeks,
took almost five months. By the time we traveled to get Eden, we had known her face for almost a year.
Our beautiful
Eden,
November
2006.
Eden,
November
2006.
The day after Thanksgiving, 2006, we got on the plane for the long journey to go and get Eden. This time Hannah was going with Art
and I, and after the first week Art would return home, leaving Hannah and I in China with Eden for the second week. I have a friend who
was traveling with us at the same time to adopt her daughter. We had met when we were both adopting our sons the year before. She
kept telling me that we would see Eden laugh before we left China, but in my heart I doubted that she would even smile for a long time.
But we were ready. We continued to pray: "strengthen her mind; strengthen her body, prepare her to meet us...."
At 3:00 pm, on Monday, November 27th, we climbed six flights of stairs and entered the room where Eden was. I took her in my arms.
She did not cry. She looked a little uncertain. She was beautiful... (and she was wearing lemonade yellow...)
and I, and after the first week Art would return home, leaving Hannah and I in China with Eden for the second week. I have a friend who
was traveling with us at the same time to adopt her daughter. We had met when we were both adopting our sons the year before. She
kept telling me that we would see Eden laugh before we left China, but in my heart I doubted that she would even smile for a long time.
But we were ready. We continued to pray: "strengthen her mind; strengthen her body, prepare her to meet us...."
At 3:00 pm, on Monday, November 27th, we climbed six flights of stairs and entered the room where Eden was. I took her in my arms.
She did not cry. She looked a little uncertain. She was beautiful... (and she was wearing lemonade yellow...)
Her beautiful big eyes studied us, and she furrowed her little brow like she was
thinking it all over. There was paperwork, and people walking in and out. We wrote
down her schedule as the nanny told us, and what sort of food to buy for her. The
guide was surprised: just three bottles a day? That's it? How did she grow so
healthy on just three bottles a day?
"strengthen her mind; strengthen her body...."
When the nanny left, Eden did not cry. We carefully climbed down all six flights of
stairs and began the journey home. Once in the hotel room, we began to discover
that we had the most incredibly delightful, clever little baby, with a darling personality
and lots of spunk. She did not sit well at first, but over the next few days she became
increasingly agile. We applauded each advancement as she stood, and crawled,
and took tentative steps. By the time we left China she could take several steps
alone. It was like a dam had come down and the learning just gushed out. And oh
yes, that very first evening, she laughed. As if to say, "Now, what was it they said I
couldn't do?" She's been laughing every day since.....
thinking it all over. There was paperwork, and people walking in and out. We wrote
down her schedule as the nanny told us, and what sort of food to buy for her. The
guide was surprised: just three bottles a day? That's it? How did she grow so
healthy on just three bottles a day?
"strengthen her mind; strengthen her body...."
When the nanny left, Eden did not cry. We carefully climbed down all six flights of
stairs and began the journey home. Once in the hotel room, we began to discover
that we had the most incredibly delightful, clever little baby, with a darling personality
and lots of spunk. She did not sit well at first, but over the next few days she became
increasingly agile. We applauded each advancement as she stood, and crawled,
and took tentative steps. By the time we left China she could take several steps
alone. It was like a dam had come down and the learning just gushed out. And oh
yes, that very first evening, she laughed. As if to say, "Now, what was it they said I
couldn't do?" She's been laughing every day since.....
Hit play to
hear Eden
laugh.
hear Eden
laugh.
Our beautiful
little girl.
little girl.
We did visit the orphange.
Here is a photo of the spot
where Eden was supposedly
abandoned. The photo on
the right is of her standing in
her old crib in the orphanage.
There were many cribs
crowded in the dim and
bitterly cold room. Some
stood in their cribs, some lay
listlessly, some slept. The
nannies chattered while the
director smoked. Older
children wandered around.
The nannies showed me the
type of milk powder that they
used for Eden's bottles, and
told me that she could hold
her own bottle so I need not
hold her while I fed her. :-o
She seemed to have had
very little physical contact, but
she certainly did like it. It
was heartbreaking to see all
the children and babies in
that place. It would be so
long before many of them
would have a home -- if ever,
and many of them had been
there far too long already. It
was overwhelming.
Here is a photo of the spot
where Eden was supposedly
abandoned. The photo on
the right is of her standing in
her old crib in the orphanage.
There were many cribs
crowded in the dim and
bitterly cold room. Some
stood in their cribs, some lay
listlessly, some slept. The
nannies chattered while the
director smoked. Older
children wandered around.
The nannies showed me the
type of milk powder that they
used for Eden's bottles, and
told me that she could hold
her own bottle so I need not
hold her while I fed her. :-o
She seemed to have had
very little physical contact, but
she certainly did like it. It
was heartbreaking to see all
the children and babies in
that place. It would be so
long before many of them
would have a home -- if ever,
and many of them had been
there far too long already. It
was overwhelming.
Eden is a miracle and a testimony of God's awesome power and grace. Despite many obstacles and uncertainties, we brought home a little girl who we have come to discover is quite mentally sound, although she had been severely delayed due to neglect. At the orphanage, the director insisted that he felt her brain was damaged during her cleft lip surgery at nine months old, and that she was not the same after that. (Which begs the question, what happened to the diagnosis of a congenital brain defect and the alleged CT scan done that day?) It did not take us long to discover that she behaved like a very normal, and curious, eighteen month old. Our pediatrician confirmed the diagnosis of significant delays due to gross neglect, and said that we could expect to see her thrive over the coming months. We feel blessed beyond measure. Not only is her mind strong, she is also a very physically strong little girl. We were surprised to see her physical strength, and the strength of her grasp, her arms as they pulled up on things, and her stomach as she never hit her head when falling back; she always caught herself with her head inches from the floor and a big smile. For the first several months, she would never cry over a tumble or boo boo, likely because she was used to no one caring. She had to learn to cry. (Maggie and Silas were good teachers!) She is a very tough little girl. She has had to be. For the first five months home, she did not eat any solid food, and would only take a bottle. Through patient persistence, we taught her how to eat solid foods, and soon she was eating everything. She grew six inches the first year and gained a dozen pounds. Since being home, she has had two surgeries on her cleft palate, and one to put in ear tubes. She has also been diagnosed with Hep C and hearing loss. In the beginning we taught her many sign language signs which she learned quickly. She has slowly replaced many of these signs with words, and her language continues to develop and improve. She loves to snuggle, and is very affectionate. She loves music and likes to dance and sing. She approaches every situation with a positive and joyful attitude and seems to expect everything to be fun. She is feisty, opinionated, animated, affectionate, mischievous, naughty, curious, hilarious, charming, and endearing. She is my Lemonade. We feel so, so blessed and honored to have the privilege of bringing this little girl home to our family. We can't wait to witness all the new accomplishments and discoveries she will make over the coming weeks and months. But even if she is not able to do another thing, she will always know that we loved her unconditionally from the very beginning. She is such a joy. We pray that our story might inspire someone else to give a child a chance; to give God a chance, and trust Him enough to give a child a home and a family and a future. It may not be easy, but you will never regret it. |
This is the first picture we saw of Baby Eden. Back in December of
2005, the new Waiting Child list came out, and since we had been
home just six months with Silas, I was looking merely with curiosity,
and for friends who I knew were looking in earnest. There were
several babies whose faces jump out at you and you know they will be
selected quickly. When I saw this pretty little face I said, "Here's
another one; she'll be snapped up in no time."
Suprisingly, she was not.......
2005, the new Waiting Child list came out, and since we had been
home just six months with Silas, I was looking merely with curiosity,
and for friends who I knew were looking in earnest. There were
several babies whose faces jump out at you and you know they will be
selected quickly. When I saw this pretty little face I said, "Here's
another one; she'll be snapped up in no time."
Suprisingly, she was not.......
"So go ahead and ask her For happily ever after, 'Cause nobody knows what's coming, So why not take a chance on loving?" -- Chris Rice, Lemonade song |
 |
 |
Meeting us at the
airport.
airport.
| What is that huge flaming yellow ball Mom? That's the sun baby, I know you've never seen it before. |
| Baking Bakers. Nothing gets in the way of Baking Day! |
| Eden colors. |
| Is something under the tree for me? |
| Eden plays pattycake with Maggie. She picked this up in no time. |
| Little monkeys on my bed. |
| She loves her FuFu. |
| Playing with Canaan. |
| Christmas 2006 |
A couple days before we traveled to get her, I received an unexpected surprise. Another family had visited the orphanage and had
new photos of her. I did not know there was another family visiting the orphanage, and this report came out of the blue. She told me
that Eden was "sweet, shy, alert, and made eye contact". I was elated. Then came the photos. I gasped. She was beautiful. And
she looked so healthy. I couldn't believe my eyes:
new photos of her. I did not know there was another family visiting the orphanage, and this report came out of the blue. She told me
that Eden was "sweet, shy, alert, and made eye contact". I was elated. Then came the photos. I gasped. She was beautiful. And
she looked so healthy. I couldn't believe my eyes:
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